Miscellany and Trivia

Anecdotes about Architects – Four

MTr 5

A demolition engineer is someone who designs ways to destroy building architecture.

A demolition architect is someone who builds ways to destroy design engineering.

Anecdotes about Architects – Five

MTr 6

A contractor was hollering at an Engineer and an Architect - He said, “If you guys would just get these CAD drawings right the first time, you would be driving a Rolls Royce.”

Engineer Responds: “What’s a Roll's Royce?”

Architect Responds: “What's a CAD drawing?” *

*CAD (computer-aided design) software is used by architects, engineers, drafters, artists, and others to create precision drawings or technical illustrations. CAD software can be used to create two-dimensional (2-D) drawings or three-dimensional (3-D) models.

Anecdotes about Lawyers – One

MTr 2

A reasonable fee

 A man phones a lawyer and asks, “How much would you charge for just answering three simple questions?”

The lawyer replies, “A thousand dollars.”       

“A thousand dollars!” exclaims the man. “That’s very expensive, isn't it?”

It certainly is,” says the lawyer. “Now, what's your third question?”

 

Anecdotes about Lawyers – Two

MTr 3

Problem at the zoo

Someone mistakenly left the cages open in the Reptile House at the zoo and there were snakes slithering all over the place.

Frantically, the keeper tried everything, but he couldn't get the slippery animals back into their cages. Finally, he yelled, “Quick, call a lawyer!”

“A lawyer? Why”       

We need someone who speaks their language.”

Anecdotes about Lawyers – Three

MTr 4

Lawyer and Engineer

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean when they got to talking. The lawyer mentioned, “I'm here because my house burned down and everything got destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.”

That's quite a coincidence,” remarked the engineer. “I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood. My insurance company, too, paid for everything.”

There was a brief pause, and hen the puzzled lawyer asked, “How do you start a flood?”

 

Anecdotes about Lawyers – Four

MTr 5

Two Boys’ Fathers

Having just moved to a new home, a young boy meets the boy next door. “Hi, my name is Billy,” he says, “what's yours?”

Tommy,” replied the other.

“My daddy'’ an accountant,” says Billy. “What does your daddy do?”

"He's a lawyer," Tommy answers.       

Honest?” says Billy.

“No, just the regular kind.”

Anecdotes about Lawyers – Five

MTr 6

Guess Who

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’”  

But why?” asks the man.

I'm a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.

Anecdotes about Life – One

MTr 2

In a rural area a farmer was tending to his horse named Buddy, and along came a stranger who desperately needed the farmer's help. The stranger had lost control of his vehicle and ran it off into a ditch. The stranger asked the farmer if his horse could somehow pull the vehicle out of the ditch for him and told the farmer that the vehicle was small. The farmer said he would come, bring his horse, and take a look, but could not promise he could help if his horse might be injured in some way from attempting to pull the vehicle out of the ditch. The farmer did see that the stranger was correct and that the vehicle was small, so the farmer took a rope and fixed it so that his horse, Buddy, would be able to pull the vehicle out of the ditch. The farmer then said, “Pull, Casey, Pull,” but the horse would not budge. The farmer then said, “Pull, Bailey, Pull,” but the horse would not budge again. The farmer then said, “Pull, Mandy, Pull,” and again the horse would not move. The farmer then said, “Pull, Buddy, Pull,” and the horse pulled until the vehicle was out of the ditch. The stranger was so very grateful, but asked the farmer why he called the horse by different names? The farmer said, “Buddy is blind, and I had to make him think he had help pulling the car out of the ditch or he would not have pulled.”

Lesson: don't wait on others in order to accomplish something or you may always be in a ditch. Sometimes we won't attempt to do something if we know we don’t have help.

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